Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Wonderful Wednesday
Today Eric took a personal day from work --after yesterday, can you blame him?-- and the five of us packed a picnic lunch and headed to a wonderful local park. We played on the playground, rode our bikes along a wooded path to the water and then rented a paddle boat & had our lunch on the Bay. It was a beautiful 70 degrees and one of the best family days we've had. Just 2 months ago, Yaojie did not have the leg muscles to pedal his tricycle, now he can patter along, nearly keeping up with Josh and Cara. One month ago, he was still terrified of dogs, today he reacted with only mild annoyance when a strange German Shepherd licked his face. Only weeks ago, he was still unsteady on the backyard swing, today he showed off how he could pump his legs to swing higher. It's staggering when you take stock of his improvements. And he's not the only one learning and growing each day: When Yaojie started to gear up for a tantrum on the ride home --his first of the day-- I tried a new approach: "Oh, Eric," I said loudly and excitedly so that the kids would be sure to overhear, "didn't Yaojie do such a great job sharing today? Wasn't that so nice of him and Josh to take turns steering the paddle boat? And wasn't Cara a fast peddler on her bike!" Sure and begorrah, it worked. The impending tantrum defused and soon all the children were smiling over the happy memories of the day and beaming with pride over my complements. Eric glanced at me in the rear-view mirror. We were beaming, too.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Growing Closer by Falling Apart
Anyone have May 18th in the poll of when Jamie would finally lose her mind entirely? Consider yourself a winner!
As any parent knows, some days are just hard. This morning was marked with screaming, arguing, & ill-temperedness all around... with some physical assaults thrown in for good measure. Both Josh and Cara were sick last week, so we faced 10 days of limited outside time, zero playdates and criminal amounts of Sprout. By yesterday, everyone was fully recovered... just in time for the rain to start. So I get it, we're all a bit stir crazy. But Yaojie was just having an especially tough morning --the cereal was not poured quickly enough, the wrong colored spoon was offered, he did not get the carseat of choice in the minivan (causing him to chant "Never! Never! Never!..." the whole way to Josh's preschool --thereby causing Josh to shriek "You can't say never! You can't say never!..." and me to wonder how I can safely soundproof the entire second and third row seating.) I then had two friends and their children over and Yaojie remained just one baby-step above full tantrum mode the entire time. We've been trying to be stricter with Yaojie --you're welcome, future kindergarten teacher-- and this has proven to mean that a meltdown is never far from the surface. And the meltdowns came in force today --I couldn't locate the "small red basketball" he wanted, the puzzle pieces wouldn't snap together correctly, Playdoh and the couch don't mix... Eventually, he started doing things just to get a rise out of me: Cara would walk by and he'd say, "hit" and give her a swat; he'd topple a chair for the fun of it. I tried reverse psychology: "You threw all the balls down the steps? Good idea! Studying gravity at such a young age!" I tried ignoring: "Ho, hum, I do not see you ripping the page from the book". I tried praise: "Good aim!" But as the day wore on and my patience wore thin, and Josh and Cara grew bitter from the dose of neglect I was forced to dish out --that's when the hitting started. Yaojie started hitting me, kicking me, biting, spitting, all in a whirlwind of sadness and anger.
At 3:30 I sent Eric a text to the effect of if he didn't leave work right now then there was going to be a Jamie-shaped hole in the wall. And then I burst into tears. I was alone with Yaojie in his room --Cara and Josh being kept busy by the box of Popsicles I gave them so I could engage Yaojie in yet another "time in" in his room. Oh, I know --I know-- that seeing your mother cry is scary. Bad idea. Bad parenting. (I'm still reeling from seeing my own mother cry. After the Pirates lost a playoff game to Atlanta in 1992. OK, it was my mom and dad... and brother, but I digress...) But I had reached the pinnacle of frustration --and when it rains, it pours. I went into the boys' bathroom, sat down, and sobbed. It had been a long time coming --months of paperwork, waiting, anticipating, traveling to China, leaving behind Josh and Cara, bonding with Yao, ending up in the hospital, dealing with behavioral challenges times three. 'What,' I couldn't help but think 'have I done?'
And then there was Yaojie, by my side. By then I was calmed & embarrassed. He handed me a Kleenex and put his arms around me. He kissed my cheek. I pulled him onto my lap, told him I was sorry, told him I was trying hard and that I knew that everything was hard on him. And then he did something he had never done. He told me a little bit about China. He told me "China different". He told me he liked America. He told me that in China no one read to him and that he didn't have an mother, only "aunt". Oh, Yaojie. Oh, my 5 year old boy.
So I am going to make some changes --changes to build a closer, stronger, happier family. Isn't that what every mother wants? Ours may be a longer, more winding road. But there will be plenty of beautiful scenery along the way.
As any parent knows, some days are just hard. This morning was marked with screaming, arguing, & ill-temperedness all around... with some physical assaults thrown in for good measure. Both Josh and Cara were sick last week, so we faced 10 days of limited outside time, zero playdates and criminal amounts of Sprout. By yesterday, everyone was fully recovered... just in time for the rain to start. So I get it, we're all a bit stir crazy. But Yaojie was just having an especially tough morning --the cereal was not poured quickly enough, the wrong colored spoon was offered, he did not get the carseat of choice in the minivan (causing him to chant "Never! Never! Never!..." the whole way to Josh's preschool --thereby causing Josh to shriek "You can't say never! You can't say never!..." and me to wonder how I can safely soundproof the entire second and third row seating.) I then had two friends and their children over and Yaojie remained just one baby-step above full tantrum mode the entire time. We've been trying to be stricter with Yaojie --you're welcome, future kindergarten teacher-- and this has proven to mean that a meltdown is never far from the surface. And the meltdowns came in force today --I couldn't locate the "small red basketball" he wanted, the puzzle pieces wouldn't snap together correctly, Playdoh and the couch don't mix... Eventually, he started doing things just to get a rise out of me: Cara would walk by and he'd say, "hit" and give her a swat; he'd topple a chair for the fun of it. I tried reverse psychology: "You threw all the balls down the steps? Good idea! Studying gravity at such a young age!" I tried ignoring: "Ho, hum, I do not see you ripping the page from the book". I tried praise: "Good aim!" But as the day wore on and my patience wore thin, and Josh and Cara grew bitter from the dose of neglect I was forced to dish out --that's when the hitting started. Yaojie started hitting me, kicking me, biting, spitting, all in a whirlwind of sadness and anger.
At 3:30 I sent Eric a text to the effect of if he didn't leave work right now then there was going to be a Jamie-shaped hole in the wall. And then I burst into tears. I was alone with Yaojie in his room --Cara and Josh being kept busy by the box of Popsicles I gave them so I could engage Yaojie in yet another "time in" in his room. Oh, I know --I know-- that seeing your mother cry is scary. Bad idea. Bad parenting. (I'm still reeling from seeing my own mother cry. After the Pirates lost a playoff game to Atlanta in 1992. OK, it was my mom and dad... and brother, but I digress...) But I had reached the pinnacle of frustration --and when it rains, it pours. I went into the boys' bathroom, sat down, and sobbed. It had been a long time coming --months of paperwork, waiting, anticipating, traveling to China, leaving behind Josh and Cara, bonding with Yao, ending up in the hospital, dealing with behavioral challenges times three. 'What,' I couldn't help but think 'have I done?'
And then there was Yaojie, by my side. By then I was calmed & embarrassed. He handed me a Kleenex and put his arms around me. He kissed my cheek. I pulled him onto my lap, told him I was sorry, told him I was trying hard and that I knew that everything was hard on him. And then he did something he had never done. He told me a little bit about China. He told me "China different". He told me he liked America. He told me that in China no one read to him and that he didn't have an mother, only "aunt". Oh, Yaojie. Oh, my 5 year old boy.
So I am going to make some changes --changes to build a closer, stronger, happier family. Isn't that what every mother wants? Ours may be a longer, more winding road. But there will be plenty of beautiful scenery along the way.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
2 Months Home!
Last week marked out 2-months-home anniversary. It's been a time filled with highs and lows, happy tears and sad tears. Here is a look at some of our triumphs and challenges.
Triumphs:
*Yaojie's English is incredible, he speaks hundreds of words and understands the gist of everything you say. He is unbelievably bright.
*Although he's not joining the AKC anytime soon, Yaojie has accepted the dogs and will even pet and walk them.
*Yaojie no longer screams and bangs on the window every time I leave --he even stayed with the babysitter so I could go to an event at Josh's preschool and then stayed with Grandma and Grandpa one afternoon so Eric and I could go to lunch.
*I have been able to move from the floor by Yao's bed to the couch in the living room... slowly working my way towards the bed I haven't slept in since February.
*Yaojie loves being out and about and welcomes any outing as the adventure of a lifetime, whether it to the park or grocery store.
*Yaojie continues to be very affectionate and loving. There is a real bond forming between the kids, who laugh, play and argue like siblings.
Challenges:
*We knew going in that adopting an older child --and adopting out of birth order-- would pose some challenges. I remember our social worker once saying that she had no doubt that Yaojie would flourish, it was Josh and Cara she was worried about. While I don't think they actually realize that Yaojie is the oldest --he is very small-- Josh and Cara are having a hard time with the new competition for my attention. We've seen regression in both --Cara demands much more lap time than she previously needed and Josh now speaks in broken English. At Josh's 4 year well-check, the pediatrician was asking him some cognitive questions: What is your mom's name? Where do you live?, etc... Josh answers were immature, partially in Chinese and outright outlandish. I told the doctor, "um... please stop writing this down..." Most days are like a circus of attention-seeking behavior. Yaojie also continues to have blowout tantrums, and since he often requires restraint* this allows Cara plenty of time to indulge her 2 year old quest for unsupervised mayhem. Also, Yaojie is very demanding. We often wonder if this is borne of now receiving enough attention at the orphanage, or if, being sick, he is used to being doted on and getting his way. We are working on patience with him as well as delay of gratification. This is also a key part of the tantrum cycle, he will ask for something, I will say yes, but he will ask for it repeatedly until he receives it: "Eggs, please, Mommy" "OK, I'll make you eggs" "Eggs, Mommy... eggs, eggs, eggs, Mommy,....EGGS MOMMY... (repeat until served)" I know part of this is a language barrier issue, as well as a maturity issue --in many ways he is two years old, not five. But this continues to be something we work on daily and subsequently work on with all three children since a bad habit for one now equals a bad habit for all. A final challenge is Yaojie's medical issues and the sub par care we have been receiving so far. With kindergarten looming, this will need to be addressed in a new way.
In all, we all have been doing very well. We fully anticipated and were prepared for a huge transition and many challenges. In some ways, the fact that Yaojie is doing so well causes me to have too-high expectations all-around and that's not fair. We will continue to work to meet Yaojie's needs medically, socially, and emotionally, just as with Josh and Cara. It is so exciting to watch our children grow and blossom.
*For those not in the know, I am a special education teacher who has been trained in proper restraint technique --who knew it would come in handy at home? :)
Triumphs:
*Yaojie's English is incredible, he speaks hundreds of words and understands the gist of everything you say. He is unbelievably bright.
*Although he's not joining the AKC anytime soon, Yaojie has accepted the dogs and will even pet and walk them.
*Yaojie no longer screams and bangs on the window every time I leave --he even stayed with the babysitter so I could go to an event at Josh's preschool and then stayed with Grandma and Grandpa one afternoon so Eric and I could go to lunch.
*I have been able to move from the floor by Yao's bed to the couch in the living room... slowly working my way towards the bed I haven't slept in since February.
*Yaojie loves being out and about and welcomes any outing as the adventure of a lifetime, whether it to the park or grocery store.
*Yaojie continues to be very affectionate and loving. There is a real bond forming between the kids, who laugh, play and argue like siblings.
Challenges:
*We knew going in that adopting an older child --and adopting out of birth order-- would pose some challenges. I remember our social worker once saying that she had no doubt that Yaojie would flourish, it was Josh and Cara she was worried about. While I don't think they actually realize that Yaojie is the oldest --he is very small-- Josh and Cara are having a hard time with the new competition for my attention. We've seen regression in both --Cara demands much more lap time than she previously needed and Josh now speaks in broken English. At Josh's 4 year well-check, the pediatrician was asking him some cognitive questions: What is your mom's name? Where do you live?, etc... Josh answers were immature, partially in Chinese and outright outlandish. I told the doctor, "um... please stop writing this down..." Most days are like a circus of attention-seeking behavior. Yaojie also continues to have blowout tantrums, and since he often requires restraint* this allows Cara plenty of time to indulge her 2 year old quest for unsupervised mayhem. Also, Yaojie is very demanding. We often wonder if this is borne of now receiving enough attention at the orphanage, or if, being sick, he is used to being doted on and getting his way. We are working on patience with him as well as delay of gratification. This is also a key part of the tantrum cycle, he will ask for something, I will say yes, but he will ask for it repeatedly until he receives it: "Eggs, please, Mommy" "OK, I'll make you eggs" "Eggs, Mommy... eggs, eggs, eggs, Mommy,....EGGS MOMMY... (repeat until served)" I know part of this is a language barrier issue, as well as a maturity issue --in many ways he is two years old, not five. But this continues to be something we work on daily and subsequently work on with all three children since a bad habit for one now equals a bad habit for all. A final challenge is Yaojie's medical issues and the sub par care we have been receiving so far. With kindergarten looming, this will need to be addressed in a new way.
In all, we all have been doing very well. We fully anticipated and were prepared for a huge transition and many challenges. In some ways, the fact that Yaojie is doing so well causes me to have too-high expectations all-around and that's not fair. We will continue to work to meet Yaojie's needs medically, socially, and emotionally, just as with Josh and Cara. It is so exciting to watch our children grow and blossom.
*For those not in the know, I am a special education teacher who has been trained in proper restraint technique --who knew it would come in handy at home? :)
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Things I Will (almost) Never Hear All Day Once I Go Back to Work
1. "Moooooommmm, Cara's eating Play-Doh!!"
2. "Boom, boom, bang, crash" *the sound of someone falling down the steps.
3. "Look, mommy, I don't wear clothes!"
4. "Whooosh, glug, glug, glug." *the sound of an entire roll of Charmin being flushed down the toilet.
5. "I'm just a kid who's 4, each day I learn some more, I like exploring, I'm Cailou..."
6. "Hermie is stuck in the VCR."
7. "Here, a booger."
8. "Sllluurrrp, sllluurrrp,..." *the sound of a two-year-old and her dog sharing a Popsicle"
2. "Boom, boom, bang, crash" *the sound of someone falling down the steps.
3. "Look, mommy, I don't wear clothes!"
4. "Whooosh, glug, glug, glug." *the sound of an entire roll of Charmin being flushed down the toilet.
5. "I'm just a kid who's 4, each day I learn some more, I like exploring, I'm Cailou..."
6. "Hermie is stuck in the VCR."
7. "Here, a booger."
8. "Sllluurrrp, sllluurrrp,..." *the sound of a two-year-old and her dog sharing a Popsicle"
Monday, May 10, 2010
It's a Girl Thing
Getting Dressed in the Morning: A Play in Two Acts
Act I
Me: "Cara, let's get dressed."
Cara: "OK!!" Runs into bedroom, excitedly. "I want to wear pink!!!"
Me: "OK, here, wear your Care Bear shirt and these pants."
Cara: "Nooooooo!!! No Care Bears!!" Tosses shirt to the ground in disgust. "Wear pink dress"
Me: "Cara, it's 50 degrees and raining today. Too cold for a sundress. Here is another pink shirt..."
Cara: "No!! Dress! I want to be a pink princess" Scowls in a decidedly unprincesslike manner. "Give it to meeeeee!!" Uses the nightstand in the closet as a springboard to pull down her choices. "Wear this!
Me: "Cara, get down, you can't wear a pink tutu to the dentist."
Cara: "Where is my princess dress?"
Me: "That's a costume. You aren't wearing it."
Cara: "Mommy, can you get out?"
Me: "No, put on this pink shirt and pants."
Cara: "OK, Mommy."
Me: Looking suspicious of my easy victory as I help her dress and then leave
Cara: Emerging from her room wearing a blue summer dress inside out. "I'm ready! But am I still the pink princess?"
Me: Returning to her room to find that not only had she completely changed clothes, but she had managed to hang the original clothes back in the closet. "Always."
Act II
Me: "Josh, wear this. Yaojie, wear this."
Josh: "OK."
Yaojie: "OK."
Act I
Me: "Cara, let's get dressed."
Cara: "OK!!" Runs into bedroom, excitedly. "I want to wear pink!!!"
Me: "OK, here, wear your Care Bear shirt and these pants."
Cara: "Nooooooo!!! No Care Bears!!" Tosses shirt to the ground in disgust. "Wear pink dress"
Me: "Cara, it's 50 degrees and raining today. Too cold for a sundress. Here is another pink shirt..."
Cara: "No!! Dress! I want to be a pink princess" Scowls in a decidedly unprincesslike manner. "Give it to meeeeee!!" Uses the nightstand in the closet as a springboard to pull down her choices. "Wear this!
Me: "Cara, get down, you can't wear a pink tutu to the dentist."
Cara: "Where is my princess dress?"
Me: "That's a costume. You aren't wearing it."
Cara: "Mommy, can you get out?"
Me: "No, put on this pink shirt and pants."
Cara: "OK, Mommy."
Me: Looking suspicious of my easy victory as I help her dress and then leave
Cara: Emerging from her room wearing a blue summer dress inside out. "I'm ready! But am I still the pink princess?"
Me: Returning to her room to find that not only had she completely changed clothes, but she had managed to hang the original clothes back in the closet. "Always."
Act II
Me: "Josh, wear this. Yaojie, wear this."
Josh: "OK."
Yaojie: "OK."
Sunday, May 9, 2010
WAY BACK MACHINE, circa 2006
I wrote this right after Josh was born as a way of describing new motherhood to a friend. What wonderful memories it brings of falling in love with my now 4 year old boy! Happy Mother's Day, all!
Before Becoming a Mother, I Never Knew--
...that it could take until noon to find time to eat breakfast.
...that I could simultaneously operate a double breast pump, rock a baby to sleep, and do my taxes.
...that the fact that my son is mesmerized by the lines on my headboard is NO indication of his intelligence.
...that there comes a point when you just don't care how many "lactation consultants" squeeze your boobs.
...that being vomited on at 2am is just not as much fun as it was at age 21.
...that baby boys actually take great delight in urinating all over their mother.
...that an 8 pound human would necessitate a continuous stream of laundry.
...that a solo trip to the bank or post office could feel like a vacation.
...that my heart would swell, Grinch-style every time he smiles at me.
...that I would be secretly pleased when only Mommy can stop him from crying.
...that sometimes I would look at him and burst into tears because I am so lucky.
...that feeling your baby roll and flutter inside of you is an indescribable joy.
...that seeing your husband hold your baby would make you fall in love with him all over again.
...that our parents have waited their whole lives for this.
...that true contentment is an infant nuzzled against your chest.
...that I would thank God every night.
...the wonderful feeling of tiny fingers grasping mine.
...that I really would love him more each day.
...that hearing him laugh and watching him learn would be the greatest moments of my life.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
"No China. America."
"No China," Yaojie said this morning when I told him he'd be starting Mandarin language classes, "America."
Before Yaojie's arrival, I networked hard with the Asian community. No one of even remote Asian ancestry crossed my path without me striking up a conversation, asking them to be my personal language tutor, requesting they do some light translation... or simply smiling giddily at our invisible connection. I set up play dates with families with little boys adopted from China, Hong Kong, Korea & Thailand. I located a bilingual babysitter and a Chinese pediatrician. I joined the local chapter of Families with Children from China (FCC). I bought Chinese art and soaked up all Ni Hao Kailan had to offer. I once --OK, three times-- accosted an elderly Chinese man at the playground. And I'm not a bit sorry --he was from Shanghai! With a bilingual grandson Yao's age! After only minimal badgering, he gave me his phone number. I tried not the read into the fact that it had an out-of-state area code. Or that he darted to his car directly after.
It's all been for naught --Yaojie shuns all things Chinese. I did not see that one coming.
When he is around adults of Chinese descent --especially when they speak Mandarin to him--, he clings to me, wants me to hold him close, becomes nervous & agitated. The very thing I thought would bring comfort, instead brings fear. I guess it's not that difficult to understand. Everything Western has been so positive for him --Attention! Toys! Fun outings everyday! All you can eat! Kisses & hugs! I think he sees reminders of China as a threat --he does not want to lose his new life. How does he even wrap his 5 year old brain around his situation?
So we will continue to infuse bits of China into our daily life and seek to instill positive feelings in Yaojie for his homeland. We will continue Mandarin classes and hope to strengthen Yaojie's friendships with other Asian children, adopted and not. We want him to know that he can be 100% Chinese, 100% American, and 100% ours.
Before Yaojie's arrival, I networked hard with the Asian community. No one of even remote Asian ancestry crossed my path without me striking up a conversation, asking them to be my personal language tutor, requesting they do some light translation... or simply smiling giddily at our invisible connection. I set up play dates with families with little boys adopted from China, Hong Kong, Korea & Thailand. I located a bilingual babysitter and a Chinese pediatrician. I joined the local chapter of Families with Children from China (FCC). I bought Chinese art and soaked up all Ni Hao Kailan had to offer. I once --OK, three times-- accosted an elderly Chinese man at the playground. And I'm not a bit sorry --he was from Shanghai! With a bilingual grandson Yao's age! After only minimal badgering, he gave me his phone number. I tried not the read into the fact that it had an out-of-state area code. Or that he darted to his car directly after.
It's all been for naught --Yaojie shuns all things Chinese. I did not see that one coming.
When he is around adults of Chinese descent --especially when they speak Mandarin to him--, he clings to me, wants me to hold him close, becomes nervous & agitated. The very thing I thought would bring comfort, instead brings fear. I guess it's not that difficult to understand. Everything Western has been so positive for him --Attention! Toys! Fun outings everyday! All you can eat! Kisses & hugs! I think he sees reminders of China as a threat --he does not want to lose his new life. How does he even wrap his 5 year old brain around his situation?
So we will continue to infuse bits of China into our daily life and seek to instill positive feelings in Yaojie for his homeland. We will continue Mandarin classes and hope to strengthen Yaojie's friendships with other Asian children, adopted and not. We want him to know that he can be 100% Chinese, 100% American, and 100% ours.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Wild Care Bear
If she's not running on the kitchen table,
she's scaling the cabinets.
If she's not using soap to "paint" the mirror,
she's catapulting herself over the baby gate.
If she's not climbing into the refrigerator,
she's climbing into the freezer.
If she's not somersaulting off the couch,
she's putting pajamas on the dog.
If she's not chasing her brothers with a hockey stick,
she's dancing on the coffee table.
My girl.
I love her like crazy.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Just What we Wanted
It was 2 years ago tonight that we started the adoption process. Well, actually, we started the process in June of 2006 and then *bam* were pregnant with Josh in no time... But on May 5, 2008, we returned to our agency, ready to begin the paperchase towards adopting a healthy baby girl. At the time we anticipated a 3 year wait --which was perfect for us, since Josh was barely 2 and Cara was only 6 months old. I vividly remember driving to the informational meeting that evening --thoughts of our new daughter bringing smiles as they swirled in my head. I passed a street called "Megan" --the name we were planning to give our girl-- and thought it was kismet. A son and two daughters, how perfect. I had never felt more sure of a decision. Over the months, we completed our homestudy & dossier, wrote our checks and waited. Then last summer we saw a video of a little boy who, although shy, kept reaching for the microphone held by his caretaker. He was male. He was four. He was special needs. He met none of our qualifications. He was ours.
Sometimes in life, your Chinese baby girl is a rough-and-tumble 5 year old boy. Two sons and a daughter, how perfect.
Sometimes in life, your Chinese baby girl is a rough-and-tumble 5 year old boy. Two sons and a daughter, how perfect.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
30 and Out
In a miracle of science and nature, the kids and I all slept until 8:30 this morning. I know what you are thinking: "Ahhh" (pleasant sigh). But given the fact that we have to be out the door by 9:00 to get Josh to preschool, you should instead be thinking: "Ahhh!" (nervous shriek). Here is a glimpse of getting 3 children and a harried mom out the door in 30 minutes flat, without being late for preschool --ok, not being any later than we usually are...
"Josh, wake up and go potty... JOSH... potty, Josh... come on... *pulling covers off*... get up for school...JOSH... Yao, it's ok, accidents happen... DON'T take your pants off in here... no, go to the bathroom... I'll be there in a second *gathering bedsheets, pillowcase, comforter & pajamas and running them downstairs to the wash*... Cara, yes, I'm coming, yes, I'll get the spider... what did I do with him? Sent him home to his Maker... I mean his Mommy... Cara, get off the sink, get down right now!...here, put this on, Cara... how about this... how about this... how about this... no, it's 80 degrees you can't wear snowpants... OK, FINE, WEAR THE SNOWPANTS... Josh, your underwear are on backwards...Yao, wash your hands before you touch anything else... OK, Yao, I'll get your noodles...I said I'll get them. I'm getting them now... yes, I am getting them... yes, it will be big... ok, then which spoon do you want... the green one's dirty...I am not washing it... *washing green spoon* OK, here... Cara, get off the sink... Cara, stop feeding your waffle to the dog... Cara, CARA!... Josh, I don't know why my hair is curly... no, don't hand it to me, get a Kleenex for goodness sakes... how about this bowl... this bowl?... this bowl?... Cara, get off the sink... Where are your sandals, where are your sandals... here they are... oh, no! Dog poop! Cara, stop wiping the dog poop off the sandals... STOP IT! OK, everyone in the car... no, you can't buckle yourself... yes, Cara, that's a dandelion... ok, everyone stop picking Daddy's phlox... stop it... stop it... stop picking phlox... stop picking phlox RIGHT NOW...
And away we went --snowpants, defaced sandals, pocketfuls of phlox & all.
"Josh, wake up and go potty... JOSH... potty, Josh... come on... *pulling covers off*... get up for school...JOSH... Yao, it's ok, accidents happen... DON'T take your pants off in here... no, go to the bathroom... I'll be there in a second *gathering bedsheets, pillowcase, comforter & pajamas and running them downstairs to the wash*... Cara, yes, I'm coming, yes, I'll get the spider... what did I do with him? Sent him home to his Maker... I mean his Mommy... Cara, get off the sink, get down right now!...here, put this on, Cara... how about this... how about this... how about this... no, it's 80 degrees you can't wear snowpants... OK, FINE, WEAR THE SNOWPANTS... Josh, your underwear are on backwards...Yao, wash your hands before you touch anything else... OK, Yao, I'll get your noodles...I said I'll get them. I'm getting them now... yes, I am getting them... yes, it will be big... ok, then which spoon do you want... the green one's dirty...I am not washing it... *washing green spoon* OK, here... Cara, get off the sink... Cara, stop feeding your waffle to the dog... Cara, CARA!... Josh, I don't know why my hair is curly... no, don't hand it to me, get a Kleenex for goodness sakes... how about this bowl... this bowl?... this bowl?... Cara, get off the sink... Where are your sandals, where are your sandals... here they are... oh, no! Dog poop! Cara, stop wiping the dog poop off the sandals... STOP IT! OK, everyone in the car... no, you can't buckle yourself... yes, Cara, that's a dandelion... ok, everyone stop picking Daddy's phlox... stop it... stop it... stop picking phlox... stop picking phlox RIGHT NOW...
And away we went --snowpants, defaced sandals, pocketfuls of phlox & all.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
2 Months
Saturday marked 2 months since the day we took Sun Yaojie in our arms in a crowded Shanghai notary and became a wonderfully chaotic family of five. There have been highs --Mommy, give me kiss!-- and there have been lows --Whhhaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!-- but above all else it has been a time of learning, adjusting and settling into our new roles. Yaojie continues to both challenge and amaze us --he is incredibly bright and has been learning English in a flash. He's only been in America since March 11 and already he can understand the gist of everything we say to him. And his vocabulary! Just today he complained, "Josh bother me. Cara bother me. I don't like it!" Spoken like a true older brother! We have seen so many wonderful changes in him. Recent breakthroughs include conquering his fear of dogs --"That's nice! Soft!" he now says when petting Malarkey; Staying with the babysitter while I had to drop off some paperwork; Softening to the attention and conversation from new people; & forming bonds with my family, who visited from Pittsburgh last weekend. We've been so proud of him and at times I forget that he has not always been with us. As any parent --and especially an adoptive parent of an older child-- knows, our time together has had its challenges. There has been sibling jealousy, short-temperedness all-around, nights of crying out in pain, hurdles with his medical condition & tantrums --oh, dear God, the tantrums! Often in triplicate! In public! Complete with biting, scratching and strings of Chinese curses! There are challenges and triumphs, highs and lows. Eric and I have laughed, we've cried, we've instituted a daily happy hour. I hope that you enjoy following our story.
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